Category: Opinion

BY WHITNEY NGATI

When you hear the term “self-care,” what comes to mind? The concept of self-care can vary, but common themes like prioritizing yourself often emerge. Essentially, self-care is about loving yourself and prioritizing your wellbeing. It’s a broad topic that can manifest in various aspects of life, including politics, religion, romantic relationships, and family dynamics.

The foundation of self-care is self-awareness. This means understanding your personality, including your strengths and weaknesses. By  understanding who you are, you can assess your level of self-care, whether it’s low, average, or high. This self-knowledge will better equip you to navigate life’s challenges and interactions with others.

While caring for yourself is crucial, it doesn’t mean neglecting the well-being of those around you. Self-care is not about being self-centered; rather, it involves maintaining harmony in your relationships while prioritizing your needs. This balance requires setting strong boundaries to prevent others from taking advantage of your kindness. Just because you care for others doesn’t give them the right to cross those boundaries. Respect must always prevail.

When discussing personality in relation to self-care, it’s important to recognize that people vary in their approach. Some individuals have high levels of self-care, while others may have average or even low levels. These differences can be innate or shaped by external factors such as traumatic experiences or the influence of the people around us.

People with high levels of self-care are assertive. They communicate their needs and concerns without fear of being disliked. They are loyal, value authenticity, and know themselves well. They are less likely to experience depression because they actively work towards leading a healthy and fulfilling life.

Those with average self-care may struggle to balance honesty with kindness, often sugarcoating the truth to avoid hurting others. They may feel uneasy about setting boundaries and often explain themselves to avoid being perceived as bad.

Individuals with low or no self-care are often people-pleasers, easily exploited due to their insecurities. They frequently apologize, even when they aren’t at fault, and struggle to speak up when their boundaries are crossed. This can lead to deep internal hurt and a tendency toward laziness and carelessness.

In addition to these categories, there are other aspects of self-care, such as spiritual, physical, and emotional self-care. Individuals with high levels of self-care tend to balance all these because they are vigilant about their overall well-being. The characteristics outlined here can help you identify where you stand in your self-care journey.

If you find yourself in the last category, remember it is never too late to change. Identifying who you are marks the beginning of that change. It takes patience to reach a high level of self-care, as you will need to change your perception of life and possibly cut off certain individuals. You will start getting used to a new version of yourself, which might feel different. You may not realize the change until you start losing old friends and making new ones. Old friends may accuse you of pride, but this is often a sign that you’re headed in the right direction, gradually implementing the characteristics of someone with average self-care. Over time, you will move towards the high level.

 

Why You Need to Love Yourself?

1. You Are the Only One Who Knows What It Takes to Be You

No one understands your inner world, including the challenges you have overcome. If you’ve had a bad experience and it took a while to heal, take it as a lesson and love yourself now. This can be achieved by saying no to anything that doesn’t offer peace. Embrace vigilance in your interactions.

2. The Love You Offer Yourself Is Irreplaceable

Unconditional love originates from within. How you love yourself cannot be compared to how someone else does, no matter how hard they try. If you reach a point of valuing yourself, you won’t tolerate the opposite from anyone, regardless of who they are. Others can only offer love and support filtered through their perspectives and limitations. They may not see your internal struggles or celebrate your victories the way you do.

3. You Deserve Better Because You Are Special

Never settle for the bare minimum in the name of understanding. This applies in all areas of life, not just relationships. If you settle for less, it means you are lowering your standards. The only thing you need to do is raise them. Don’t let people who can’t meet your standards make you feel like you’re asking for too much. How you see yourself determines whom you attract. You may be rejected by those who can’t meet your standards, but refusing to compromise often leads to growth. Don’t worry about the trolls; the right people will appreciate who you are.

4. Self-Love Contributes to Mental Well-Being

It starts with accepting both your strengths and weaknesses. Self-love helps build a positive self-image, reducing the likelihood of self-criticism. You will acknowledge your worth and do what is best for you. You’ll be better equipped to set boundaries that protect your mental health. You’ll normalize communicating your limits and create space to avoid unnecessary stress.

5. Loving Yourself Attracts Positivity

Self-love influences the relationships and experiences you encounter. You’ll be able to draw positive vibes and project positive energy. The right people will want to associate with you, setting a standard for how you expect to be treated. This leads to meaningful interactions and supportive networks that contribute to happiness.

As we navigate life, embracing self-care and love can lead to personal success and fulfillment. Each of us has a unique spirit, vision, and purpose. We need to normalize cultivating a deeper understanding of who we are and what we stand for. This marks the beginning of realizing our capabilities.

Self-care is more than just physical needs; it also involves working on our emotions and mental well-being. We  must make choices that align with our authentic selves, fostering a positive inner environment that drives us to supportive relationships and meaningful interactions. The process involves being true to ourselves and saying no to the pitfalls of people-pleasing. It’s all about valuing our worth beyond external validation.

As we work on ourselves, we must address and overcome the barriers that hinder our growth. Challenges are inevitable, and we all face moments of doubt. You are never alone. What matters is how we respond to these challenges. Each challenge should be viewed as a stepping stone, offering growth through the lessons learned. Don’t let challenges defeat you; it is your responsibility to determine how you approach them. Together, we can cultivate a mindset that views setbacks as opportunities for growth.

 

Engage with your vision and purpose by setting realistic goals and working towards them with determination. Remain true to your values and aspirations. Cut off individuals who bring negative energy into your life. Surround yourself with those who see the best in you, as they are good for your mental health. Letting go of situations that do not align with your values is a sign of strength and will help you maintain a balanced and fulfilling life.

 

Embrace vulnerability, as it is a sign of emotional resilience and courage. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you open up to the possibility of receiving support and attracting genuine connections. Vulnerability can deepen relationships and foster empathy. Acknowledge your imperfections and accept that seeking help is a natural part of the human experience. Step out of your comfort zone and allow yourself to be seen as you truly are, without pretense. As you grow, remember that self-care and self-love require patience. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and be kind to yourself during setbacks. Every step you take will lead to a more meaningful existence. Honor and invest in yourself as you pave the way to a life filled with purpose and connection.

 

By: Nicole Waweru.

{Email: wanjirunicole28@gmail.com}

In the dark and treacherous depths of the earth, where miners toil daily to extract precious resources that power our world, a haunting spectre looms ever-present: the threat of a mine collapse. It is a tragedy that continues to claim the lives of brave people, leaving a trail of heartbreak and sorrow in its wake. Mine collapses serve as an upsetting example of the risks involved in this necessary but dangerous business.

The media has frequently captured the nation’s interest with stories of miners trapped far underground by collapsing tunnels. These sad occurrences show us the grave consequences that might result from poor safety regulations or from pushing the limits of exploration and extraction by humans. The human lives at the centre of these stories must be kept in mind, as well as the urgent need for changes to stop similar tragedies from happening again.

The recent case of two miners who lost their livers after the walls of an underground gold mine caved in on them in Ikolomani, Kakamega County is a recent example of how unsafe these mines have become. It is seen that one of the deceased, Evans Museve, entered the mine to inspect a hole’s formation following the dewatering and lowering of the water table.

Not just the miners themselves but also their families, friends, and entire communities suffer when a mine collapses. Beyond explanation, the relatives of the missing miners are experiencing unimaginable sorrow and worry. The distress of not knowing if their loved ones are alive or not during the hours, days, and perhaps weeks of rescue efforts is ingrained into our collective consciousness.

Rose Ayuma, the mother of one of the deceased spoke of her frustration upon learning of her son’s fate. She emphasized the financial strain that this loss has brought to her family and pleaded for assistance to support her late son’s wife and two children. The family now faces a lot of problems after the incident since they have to take care of the deceased family, which is sad because he is just doing his job.

The miners themselves are not primarily to blame for these disasters. The responsibility for guaranteeing the security of persons who work in the mining industry must be shared by mining corporations, governments, and regulatory organisations. It is crucial to take adequate safety precautions, receive continual training, conduct frequent inspections, and strictly adhere to the rules. However, the desire for profit and other economic pressures can weaken these vital safety precautions, resulting in accidents that could have been prevented.

We can see that miners in Kenya are poorly equipped and they lack the necessary gear to help them do their work effectively. The government should deploy better mining equipment because many people tragically lose their lives in the blink of an eye, seeing that all this could be avoided.

However, this problem is not limited to a single nation or a specific kind of mine. It is an issue that affects miners all over the world, from South America to Asia and from Africa to Europe. We should be united in our resolve to defend individuals who put their lives in danger to seek out essential goods because of this issue.

 

Innovating and utilising technology can help to mitigate this serious problem. Robotics advancements, remote sensing advancements, and better communication systems can all contribute to increased safety precautions and rescue efforts. The industry should make using these tools a top priority.

Change can also be driven by public pressure on authorities, businesses, and the sector as a whole. The combined voice of the people could call for accountability and transparency in mining operations, pressuring businesses to put safety and moral conduct ahead of financial gains.

The heartbreaking accounts of miners who perished in mine disasters serve as sad reminders of how much our world depends on the labour and sacrifice of these brave people. Therefore, we must make the necessary modifications to save the lives of miners and their families from such tragic losses. Mine collapses should not be a repeating nightmare for the present and the future, but an intolerable tragedy of the past.

In conclusion, miner deaths due to collapses are more than just tragic accidents, they are also signs of broader issues with the mining industry. We must keep in mind that every life lost affect family, communities, and society as a whole negatively. The daily risk to their life that miners take while working is unacceptable. Therefore, let us uphold their sacrifices by advocating for a mining sector that puts workers’ safety and welfare above all else and is more responsible, accountable, and compassionate.

END.

{Photo courtesy of Red Oak Recovery}

 

By anonymous

 

Have you ever wondered why you have certain habits, specific triggers, or events in your life that seem to recur or a certain trait that is very particular for you? Well, I personally have had instances where they appear. Among the many reasons that they actually happen include cases of traumas that are unhealed. There are different traumas, like rejection, betrayal, and abandonment.

With this in mind, the next question you might ask is how to know whether one is suffering from trauma. There are different types of trauma, and they manifest differently. One common example is rejection trauma, whose characteristics include making one easily have recurring negative assumptions about what others are thinking about them, and also, one tends to worry about letting people in their life. One also tends to be a people pleaser.

Betrayal trauma is the second type of trauma that people happen to experience. It manifests with people having trouble recognizing, expressing, or managing emotions, leading to them having panic attacks, among other things. Thirdly, Abandonment trauma makes one fear being left or abandoned (In the case of a relationship), and one is literally just attached to someone or something or is clingy. It also manifests with one being unable to form healthy relationships in the teen stages and or adult ages. They tend to struggle with low self-esteem and self-worth.

The reaction towards a trauma is usually by exhibiting a response. The following are a few responses; flight, fight, freeze, and fawn. One who responds by flight tends to be a workaholic, an overthinker, experiences panic and anxiety, and are usually a perfectionist. Those who respond by fight have anger outbursts, control, and explosive behavior. Those who respond by freezing generally have difficulty making decisions; they feel stuck, love isolating themselves, and just get numb. Those who fawn tend to be people pleasers; they lack identity, no boundaries, and are codependent. We may, at times, know we carry some baggage in the past and do not do anything about it or just live blaming.

So how, then, can we get around an issue like trauma? It is liberating to deal with an issue and lift that burden off one’s shoulders. You will be lighter and move faster in whatever path of life. One way to solve any issue is being aware and, in this case, self-aware. It is super fulfilling to work on yourself through professional help from a therapist, get information from books, add capacity to oneself, and majorly be self-aware. Meditation. I recommend a few books to help one heal and recover from trauma. One can look at as many books as they can;

1. Finding Me – Viola Davis
2. The mountain is you –Brianna Wiest
3. What happened to you -Bruce D and Oprah Winfrey

The bottom line of this subject is that as we go about our lives, some things subconsciously hinder us from fully living our purpose in life. I encourage everyone to strive to be better every day, build capacity, let go of things of the past, be forgiving, and be happy in life.

[Photo courtesy of Health Care Business Today]

 

By anonymous

 

This is not a very discussed issue, but, in my opinion, academic stress is there, it is a reality and many students are having issues getting around it. I believe there are two types of stress positive stress better known as eustress, and negative, known as distress. If you having a eustress moment, this is what you are likely to experience; It is short, one tends to have some type of energy that stimulates them to tackle tasks, and the results are usually positive. It empowers one to grow emotionally, psychologically, and in just about all dimensions of life.

Distress, on the other hand, manifests itself in the exact opposite ways as eustress does. It takes a long time; one tends to feel demotivated leading to being always exhausted and portraying low or no performance in your day-to-day activities. It also causes a lot of anxiety and depression, and at times acts as a gateway to other mental issues. This causes us to ask ourselves the next question, what causes academic stress?

Is it a particular subject or lecturer, Is it one’s own personal issue like time management? Is there just too much on your plate? Or external issues like financial and family issues? All this could cause one to experience distress.

Distress manifests itself in many ways, which I personally have experienced. One may start to socially withdraw, oversleep, over- eating sweet and fatty foods, using medication to relax taking too much of any substance, taking out stress on others, or suddenly being so emotional over just about anything. This is the point where specific things become a trigger.

It is vital that you are self-aware since you will be able to almost immediately know you are not all right and do something about it. There are many ways that one can go about any type of stress. One may seek assistance from a professional like for instance, a therapist, among others. You can venture into other ways, among them being physically active like by doing a sport, working out and many others. I could also recommend a few ways of working on oneself like reading books to develop a skill or a habit or something.

Work on the attitude by thinking and staying positive; stop overthinking. One ought to stop being a perfectionist and set realistic and practical goals. This might sound like a cliché but it is a very sensitive issue in this current day and time to be alive where the “PRESSURE” from society and even from oneself.

I would like to conclude with the words from the good book of Ecclesiastes 9: 11 where the wise man Solomon observed that I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happens to them all. Just keep doing what you doing, be disciplined, love yourself, and when your time and chance come, you’ll surely live your dream.

DISCLAIMER: I am not expressly saying that if you are having any or similar issues you are outrightly distressed. Take this as a personal opinion from someone who has previously experienced the same and wishes to talk to someone who might be going through the same.

(Photo courtesy of NJ)

By Nicole Waweru

In a materialistic society, people tend to put all their priorities on money and other materialistic things when instead they should be giving top priority to things like values, ethics, and relationships, whether familial, romantic, or even friendships. It is sad that money has been placed on such a pedestal when in reality relationships should be the ones that matter because money can be consumed very quickly, and before you know it you have nothing, whereas relationships are forever.

The only reason these cultures are thriving today is money. Such communities can never last for an extended period. Once their belongings are taken from them, they will be lost in space. Only cultures that place an equal emphasis on wealth and relationships will be able to last a long time and remain healthy and happy. There should be more of these communities because they will aid in our progress and bring us peace of mind.

People today believe that materialism is the best path ahead. However, this is wrong. There is no reason for our society to become even more materialistic. This obsession with spending will only bring disaster if it continues. Children as young as 2-3 years old are now given smartphones since they are developing smartphone addictions at such a young age.

I was shocked when I heard that my younger nieces and nephews are staying indoors all day because they have the luxury of watching tv and playing with their PlayStations all day long. While reading about the topic of materialism, it is now that I have realised that the new generation is not in touch with play and their interpersonal skills could suffer from it. If you ask me, a child who is as young as ten years old, should not even own a smartphone. Why should they? They should be out there learning how to ride a bike and fall, play with mud, etc.

Children can no longer read and write on paper with a pen, do they even know how to put ink in an ink pen? I wonder. Now that they have laptops and smartphones, all of this job can be done for them. It is awful to observe that parents are unable to properly raise their young ones, this is the sad effect of materialism on their life. And it is even scarier to think that this might be even worse, five years from now, seeing that technology is continually advancing and the introduction of ‘Artificial Intelligence.’

Also, in today’s society, people have acquired enough money that they are unable to spend it wisely and end up spending it to purchase unnecessary items. Many young people have side hustles, which is a good thing, but how do they spend the money they acquire after sales? We see the young people, including myself sometimes going on a splurge and buying all the coolest fits in the market to stay current.

his is also seen in the newest electronics that hit the market almost monthly. Every day, the most recent smartphones are introduced by all smartphone manufacturers. We frequently encounter these commercials on television when watching news networks or sporting events. It is sad to see that materialism is greatly after the youth, which even goes down to their parents. If they do not receive what they want, they grow angry and may even do something extreme, like commit suicide.

Materialism in society has led to depression and a serious deterioration in the mental health of a lot of people, because people are always putting up a show of false happiness, demanding other people’s approval of whatever they own and a quick judgment of others. This is now accepted in society as the norm. The world has become a fraud because people have grown far too materialistic with themselves. Happiness is one of the things in this world that cannot be purchased with money, we must learn from the past and begin making physical connections with others.

In conclusion, society should cease focusing on gaining wealth and instead concentrate on improving their interpersonal relationships with others. People need to understand that in this world, money is not important, families and friends are. So, we need to start living simply and spend less on pricey, unnecessary stuff. Hope this piece will help you look within yourself and ask yourself what matters to you, money or relationships? You decide.

{Photo courtesy of PT}

By Caren Chelangat

Perception is when we become aware of objects and events in the world through our various senses.

There is some way as humans we tend to judge people on our first sight at them the first meet up makes the first impression , we judge according to how we see people , how people carry themselves around and other times how people dress .

Communication is the process of passing information from one person to another we get to receive and give information through various channels .Our mood also strongly affects how we view people and events .

I learnt too that we should get to approach people fast before we actually assume what they are basing on our own thinking towards because as humans we tend to like look things through a times we are actually wrong with our thinking towards people and at other times we are actually good guessers.

Culture is the peoples way of life ,we should embrace our culture it is a mark of our identity as Africans as we emulated a lot of the western culture and we got to take it on as our own without necessarily remembering our roots .

The way we assume people whether they are smart , lazy or annoying is actually the way we will treat them and we should weigh things before we take action since we might actually be getting the wrong impression from them which is actually not it.

The kind of work we do actually gives us our own take of the world and we have various occupations in the planet so just like we all have different jobs in the world our view of the world is equally different amongst ourselves.

The old people view the world as a different angle because their own time the universe was still shabby and not yet modernized but now they are seeing it in a whole new different angle because during their time , the universe was actually a different thing.

The experience we go through makes us have a certain view on some things or some specific kind of people incase we encounter rude remarks from traffic policemen we will definitely presume all traffic police are rude .

The way we relate with people also determines how we will look at them the case of having a partner and assuming that he is just ignorant even he meant something in some other form of way we will automatically take the remark as ignorant because we just assume he or she is ignorant. Information must be arranged in some certain typa way that makes it have a meaning to the world as a whole.

Our mood depends on how we interact with others ;when a person is hungry and has been in the office the entire day definitely will have a bad mood due to the hunger and will interact with people in a moody way. We should interact with people after then we perceive their thoughts and all after an encounter with them.